A New Start…Upwards and onwards.


A New  Start.

Due to the sudden death of my wonderful husband Ian in January I have not been on here for a while.Six months on and my life has totally changed .

I thought that after forty years of marriage it was the end but with the help of some wonderful family and friends I have pulled through and realised that at the age of sixty eight it is the beginning of a new chapter and that life is precious.

I did not know what to do about the two allotments that we shared as I considered at first that it was too much but with the allotmenteers rallying around and helping me I think I have done  great job  . Linda who has a plot offered to take on half of Ian’s plot which gave me breathing space to plan what to do.This has been so successful that six months on we are taking it on between us for another year.

 Allotments are more than growing vegetables they are about friendships and community and having some wonderful space and scenery to think and plan.

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My squash from last year.

I have six chickens in the back garden two of which Ian brought two days before his death .One we called Ruby as it was going to be our Ruby wedding shortly and the other I called Chelsea after his favourite football team. At first I panicked and wondered how on earth I was going to look after six and considered briefly to rehome the two new girls , but I soon realised that two more made very little difference and that their eggs could be an asset as my income was instantly reduced..I sell their eggs to pay for their food and swap some in exchange for plants for at the allotments and for good deeds done.

They are a joy and gave me a reason to get up and let them out of their coup every morning , feed them and listen to Chelsea telling me the gossip of the day.

I have a good friend Carol who is another chicken owner .We met through a forum not knowing that we lived two miles from each other. She has always been there for me and we often discuss the trials and tribulations of chickens among other things and she and her husband Richard have been there.

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I now have a totally different social life than before. Ian and I used to do everything together but now I have regained old friends and have joined several clubs that I would not have given a second thought before. Our village has several clubs which is of interest including “Oasis” which is a bereavement club.I thought it would be full of older people than me but my friend Marilyn persuaded me to go and it made me realise how many people in my village were widows or widowers. I have also started to learn bell ringing at one of our local churches , invited along by Chris who has been going for about years ..I have a lot to learn!

I know it has only been a few months but my  advice to anyone in the same position is to be brave and try something new. It is really scary at first  but with friends and families help you can take the first step. It does get easier one step at  time. my other piece of advice is not  to make any hasty decisions, I  nearly made a hasty one and put my house up for sale and when I thought about it I had everything around me that I needed without moving ..Family and friends, beautiful countryside at the bottom of my garden , my chickens and familiarity in a house where we had spent all our happy married life.

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4 thoughts on “A New Start…Upwards and onwards.

  1. Thanks for your amazing post. I am so lucky to have my dear husband still with me, but reading your post made me imagine what the parallels would be if he were gone. Wishing you peace and blessing as you move forward

    • Thank you. I’ve come a long way and got a totally different outlook on life than before.
      I know Ian would have approved of the way I have approached things.

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